I know a guy who says appearance doesn't matter to him as much as personality, which is total bullshit. He's turned down the few larger girls who've come onto him. He would even avoid being seen with them if he could- it was like they were worthless in his eyes, and their personalities were far better than his ex-girlfriend's. It's obvious he'd rather be in a relationship with a hot bitchy girl than a fat or average looking girl who has an amazing personality. I just don't understand why people lie and say appearance doesn't matter as much as personality.
Because most people (60-75%) have average looks (5-7 on the attractiveness scale), and personality then does a great deal to stir sexual desire.
edit:
I disagree with CAustin--many people with big personality have no intelligence of any kind except social, so personality alone isn't going to compel you to think of them beyond a sexual capacity.
...I did leave myself an exception, CAustion. Anyway, there is some overlap, but intelligence is largely static from birth or puberty, and most people don't have much of it as the average IQ is ~100 +/- 15; whereas, personality is more dynamic (barring trauma in the past)--that is we can improve on compassion, humor, story-telling and develop interests and culture--all of which have little to do with intelligence and many times act as social mask.
Big personality with little intelligence makes for an entertaining person (maybe even annoying sometimes), but not an interesting, compelling, admirable person.
If you're referring to men, then it's true. You don't have to be a supermodel, just be on the cute side, and a decent person. Everything else will take care of itself. Now for women, forget it. If you're not a GQ model and have money, a job a car, etc. by the time you're 16, then you're nothing.
Bcos a personality doesn't turn you on and make you want to screw the person. It's visual. Otherwise all you have is a nice friendship with someone when you pick someone soley on a personality bcos you wont have that sexual spark there that every time you look at them you think "phwar! I want to pull your clothes off and see fireworks".
SO basically people lie and say that personality is more important than looks for fear of appearing shallow bcos the ugly people have made it that way. If you're seen remotely saying that you need someone with a smaller waist or bigger butt then thats it "you're shallow!" It;s so unfair.
Well, physical attraction is important, but personality matters too. I mean, this man you kknow may not find large women attractive, but presumably if he wants a lasting relationship with someone he has got to find them interesting as well as attractive. There has got to be something more than physical attraction if a relationship is going to last.
And he may find a bit of bitchiness enjoyable. Perhaps that is something about a girl's personality that he does find attractive. Maybe he likes a girl with a bit of bite to her. What you find attractive in a girl's personality isn't necessarily what this man finds attractive.
Both are important. A relationship would suck without both. Though, personality makes somebody more physically attractive. My ex wasn't classically attractive (accordiwhy people like to lieng to my friends, and while I thought he was fine-looking when we started dating, I didn't think he was madly hot) and a bit overweight but I found him extremely hot because of what he was like towards me (and once we'd started having sex, because of that of course hehe).
I had a rebound guy for sex who was traditionally hotter than my ex, like a much better figure/body and a really nice face, but his personality is a bit lame so I wouldn't be interested in a relationship with him.
But i dated a average looking girl once (i have been told by lots of people that im good looking), and other people not me, were saying im too good for her, other girls were like what do i see in her. Im like shes a really nice person, etc etc.She was really kind though, she wasn't the most prettiest, but inside she was really really pretty. I think the reason we broke up was lots of people where saying things like hes too good for her etc etc. And i think she couldn't take it anymore.
But to be honest, most people do place looks above personality, men and women both.
Uh, you give the example of ONE guy, and conclude from that that EVERY HUMAN WHO HAS EVER LIVED is IDENTICAL TO HIM IN EVERY WAY, why, exactly?
To adult human beings, personality and character are vastly more important than appearance. That ONE GUY is a hypocrite about this means nothing.
that's a lie too they're both equally important if you're good looking but have a horrible personality no one will like you if you're not good looking but have a good personality no one will like you, the only way someone will truly like you is if they like your looks and personality the whole package.
you didn't say how old this guy is but I am guessing he isn't older than say 25 if that. The younger, immature ones go for looks.... the older more mature ones usually go for a balance between the two. Frankly I'd go for more of a mature male and wouldn't waste my time on someone like the one you are describing. He is thinking with the little head in his pants and not with a long range goal.
Those gals you described are much better off without that loser. They should spend their time looking for someone who isn't so shallow and is more mature. The immature ones will be more likely to hurt them or make a mess out of the relationship.
I think that what he is really saying is that if he had to choose between two hot women, he would chose the one with the better personality.
People are always saying crazy $h*t that they don't really mean, obviously because they don't know themselves all that well.
Looks are important for initial appeal and you want someone who's pleasing to your eyes always, but if they don't have a good/interesting personality, people don't stay. Unless they are so shallow and immature that looks are the end all to them.
If I learned anything, its this: if you are with someone, and that someone has good heart; you fall for them.
Strength of that association depends upon morality, honor, and decency of the person, of course.
If he's looking for a long-term relationship, personality would logically matter more to him than appearance, but he might need to be physically attracted to them first.
Maybe his definition of "personality" is not accurate.
Looks can fade. Personality typically doesn'twhy people like to lie.
Because personality is more important. When you're 60 and don't have your looks anymore, what are you left with? Your personality!!
It doesn't matter how good looking woman is she will do you no good if she doesn't want sex with you.
What people mean is "Willingness to shag me is more important than the fact she is a minger"
Personality is more important in the long run but appearance is important when you first meet someone.
Cause some people are hypocrites.That's all there is to it.He's probably lying to himself.
Appearance DOES matter a lot. However, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
maybe he prefers that kind of personality? lmao.. I loathe shallow people who judge others on the way they look it's not like we have control over it. when I say it I mean it.
Not all men and woman are like that. Maybe he just didn't want to admit what he really felt.
Appearance only gets you so far. Sure I would love to have a hot chick for a wife, But my wife is still pretty cute in her own way.
Appearance matters as much as personality. It is a balancing act. If you are butt AV儿劣AV儿劣* ugly, I don't care how nice and sweet you are, I am not going to want to go to bed with you. If you are super hot, but are too stupid and bitchy to know what the difference between Two, Too, and To is, then you pretty much get labeled as a slut in my book, and I wouldn't want to touch you with any part of my body.
Smarts and Looks require a good balance. Cant be retarded, and cant be looking like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
If you plan to do anything more than look at someone, personality DOES matter more than appearance. What it sounds like is that you're confusing this for the idea that appearance doesn't matter at all, which isn't true for just about anyone.
A person with a good personality but who is unattractive is perhaps a good friend, but an honest romantic relationship with them isn't possible. The most common example of this is friends outside your preferred gender (e.g. a guy with a great personality may be a good friend for me, but it would be dishonest to try to get in a relationship with him, because I don't find men sexually attractive - the same goes for a woman with a good personality but who isn't sexually appealing).
You're not 'shallow' for not thinking of your non-preferred gender friends as potential SOs - you simply recognize that a spark of sexual chemistry, in addition to a pleasant personality, is necessary for an honest relationship. Same goes for members of your preferred gender who simply aren't attractive to you.
EDIT to SB: I suppose that's true if you think of personality and intelligence as necessarily exclusive concepts. I don't - how much someone knows and how quick they are mentally plays into a lot of things we think of as personality traits, including humor, worldliness, interests, and other such things.
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